Answering Your Questions – Week 4

Contrary to popualr belief, I am not constantly bombarded with emails and messages. But I do get some questions and inquiries from readers, either through email, DMs on Twitter, or even on Kik messages (SexInBmore if you feel like connecting). Here are some of my latest favorites:

What’s the first thing that you usually notice about someone you meet?
The first thing I usually notice about anyone is their eyes. I think eyes can tell a lot about a person; their intentions, their level of honesty, the willingness to be open, etc. A good smile also helps win me over, but I definitely love looking people right in the eye. If someone can’t look at me when they communicate, it tells me volumes about where I stand.
I have been reading your blog for a while and I do not know what type of
Dominant you want. Why don’t you tell everybody what you want your Dom to be.
As for what I look for in a Dominant, I have been thinking a lot more about this since I started. I want a Daddy who respects me as a person and who I can feel safe enough with so that I can commit myself to him unconditionally. The relationship wouldn’t entirely be one where he always orders me to obey him, but instead a relationship where sometimes his orders aren’t even needed. That I am totally immersed in giving him pleasure and I want to serve him so that he too feels safe in revealing his deeper and darker emotions and desires. He would be someone with whom this would not be a 24/7 D/s thing, but more of a sexual exchange, however, I would like a relationship as well. He would ideally be professional, attractive, mid-30s to mid-40s, compassionate, intelligent, and a true leader. Although objectification does sometimes come into play through the D/s dynamic, he would see me as a person – not a thing; a person who is willingly opening herself up physically and emotionally to attend to his wants and needs.
What’s the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?
The first thing? Probably “Just a few more minutes! That dream was getting so hot!”
What are the most erotic words a lover has said to you?
Truthfully, when a man tells me I am a “Good Girl.” It gives me such a sense of erotic arousal now that it has been associated with so many amazing sexual things. It invokes a natural desire in me to continue to please him over and over again. Also, the first time Daddy J (my first and so far only Dom) bound my wrists and ankles, placed my collar and my leash on me, and placed a ball gag in my mouth, he stood back and smiled the best smile I think I have ever seen on him. He simply said, “You look so beautiful there – bound the way you should be just waiting for me.” I wanted to jump him, but of course, I had to wait until he jumped me (which wasn’t long).
If you could erase a single thing from your memory bank, what would it be?
I am not sure that I would. Everything we experience, even bad things, shape who we are. And, if I didn’t remember or the bad thing that happened, I would fear I might actually repeat it. At least if I remember the bad along with the good, as long as I have learned from everything, I think it is best to experience it all, and then some!
Once a sub/slave has experienced D/s, do you think she could go back to a
vanilla lifestyle, or will something always be missing?
A great question, but not one I feel I have enough experience with to answer as well as I would like. I am fairly new to discovering this submissive side to myself. I am enjoying every minute of it and definitely enjoy exploring and pushing limits I never knew I could. It is also intense on me emotionally, but it makes everything that much more satisfying. My lifestyle is pretty vanilla, but do I really think I could go back to a more vanilla sex life? I think if I had to, maybe? But I also believe that this is truly who I was meant to be and even in a more vanilla sex life, parts would just seep through. I know I would miss the erotic nature of it all if I wasn’t engaging in a D/s sexual relationship.

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7 Responses

  1. Anonymous says:

    So why dont you blog about your sexual encounters anymore? You trying not to be graphic so you can win awards?

  2. If only it were that simple! Truthfully, I have a couple posts I’ve been working on from the summer, but I have been very busy. Also, it’s hard to write about sexual encounters when you aren’t having them currently. Also, unless you were a complete douche, I always try to ask approval from the people I’m writing about. Sometimes, people do not give consent, and I respect that.

    But don’t worry – I don’t “edit” myself for anyone. And, since I won the Mobbies award WITH that content still intact on here, I don’t quite think it matters.

  3. Anonymous says:

    If you aren’t having”Them” then what are you doing with your self?

  4. Working way too much and for way too long. This week, I’m taking a vacation to clear my head and hopefully re-prioritize some things.

  5. Anonymous says:

    not what I mean with your self. this is a sex blog.

  6. Oh, of course I masturbate. Usually daily. The We-Vibe 3?! WORTH EVERY PENNY!!! 😉

  7. Anonymous says:

    On your knees or on your back? Mornings or night? Naked or clothed? Lights off or on? Alone or with company? Once or multiple? Low speed or full blast?

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