Last Night I Dreamt …
I have always had very vivid dreams. Even as a child, I can still remember one particularly vivid, recurring dream that I always had when something was not going just right.
It was that King Kong was standing in our living room. Not protruding through the ceiling mind you, he was standing there just like anyone else and we were just all tiny. For some reason, no one else seemed to be scared (or phased that our living room was suddenly tall enough to accomodate King Kong). I kept trying to get everyone to pay attention and call for help, but no one would. Eventually, he would pick me up in his giant fist and eventually bite off my ear. I would wake up in a panic and sweating. And it was always the same – never any different. I don’t know what it was about, all I know is I eventually stopped having it around 15 years ago. I don’t ask why, though – I am just glad it is gone (knock on wood).
As I grew older, I learned about Lucid Dreaming, where you can attempt to control the direction of a dream or change things that were happening when it looked like it was getting too dark. I have practiced it for a while now. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t. But I also know that it has helped me a lot to learn more about myself and protect myself from some pretty horrible dreams.
Something I also have been told by various “spiritualists” is that I have a very open connection to “communicate” with the “other side.” I put all that in quotes because sometimes I believe it, but I am not someone who completely understands or believes there is another side. But, I cannot deny that there have been many things that I have experienced in my life that I just cannot explain with logic and facts. I won’t go into all of them at this time (maybe in the future) but this post is about a very real experience I just had that I just cannot shake.
It was a Monday and I had just returned from Dark Odysessy Summerfest Camp (more posts about THAT to come soon – stay tuned). I was really tired, emotional, and experiencing that “con-drop” feeling. That is in general when you return from somewhere, immersed in all the things you love, with people sharing your same ideals, and then returning to the “real world” and having to face that not everyone understands you.
I had gone to bed around 10 PM and was super-emotional – still trying to process how much I am evolving into who I truly want to be. I was moving in and out of consciousness throughout the night. And then – I felt it. Someone was lying behind me in bed and started to stroke my hair in a comforting way. As an aside, if you want me to melt into you, just play with my hair – I will be putty in your hands. I was a little unnerved considering I live alone and had gone to bed alone. I did all of my Lucid Dreaming exercises to see if I was truly sleeping or awake. I really believed I was awake.
I could actually hear my sheets move with the “person” behind me and feel the indentation tip in the mattress. Yet, something told me I was safe. This “person” was here to comfort me and let me know that my emotional breakdown was not only expected, but was natural. This isn’t the first time something similar has happened to me. I once felt my passed great grandfather sitting on my bed watching me as I slept on the anniversary of his passing (as he used to when I was little). I have even felt the “circles” that my dog used to do when he was alive before he would lie down and settle in sleep.
I can’t explain these phenomena, and I almost don’t want to. I just know that in those times of extreme need, someone was there to be by my side and comfort me, even if they weren’t real. It just assures me that my journey is worth it and important. I am so glad to be getting back on my right footing and coming back. Thank you all of you for also being supportive and believing in me.
There is a lot more to come. I am finally centering myself and moving on from the powerless I felt when that person tried to steal it all from me. Stay tuned – I promise you won’t be disappointed.